Dear Upstairs Neighbor Man,
You are very loud. In fact, you are the loudest walker that ever roamed the earth. I didn't realize that it was possible to be a loud walker, but you have proved otherwise. Also, the jazz that you blast at all hours is getting Really. Frickin'. Old. I once walked upstairs with a beer as a peace offering and to request that you turn it down a notch (0r seven) and you couldn't even hear me knocking at the door. Which really was your loss because it's not often that cute girls knock at your door to bring you beer, but whatever.
I am already angry with Fireworks Man. I hate tonight. I am so going to buy a house as soon as my lease is up.
Your downstairs neighbor,