Saturday, June 30, 2007


I'm getting ready to go to a luau. Because I'm slightly overachieving, I will be wearing a retro, tropical print dress, big wooden earrings, and I'll be bringing the following accessories:

A pineapple upside-down cake. My very first. It looks so cute!

And this coconut cup, found on clearance at Target. Plus a cheesy lei.


Friday, June 29, 2007

Home Sick

I'm home sick today. Wah. The rainy weather has done a real number on my sinuses.

She Won!

Lola totally beat out the competition and won the title of wackiest dog at work. I was especially proud of this because some girls in accounting were campaigning especially hard for their ugly and totally not wacky dog AND they made fun of Lola. Whores. But let me just say that accounting people can't out campaign the marketing people. Life just doesn't work that way. So my cute lil' Bubba won a $25 gift card to PetsMart which I will use to replenish the forty treats that it took to bribe her into wearing this getup and actually looking at the camera.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Um, Well, If The Stars Say So...

According to my horoscope on my iGoogle homepage, things should be looking up. I especially like the part about heavy metals to spiritual gold. That's some funny sh*t.

The heaviness is lifted off your shoulders and your heart. Difficult circumstances that have been weighing on you for too long are now transforming from heavy metals into spiritual gold. The philosopher's stone may be working magic for you now, but you cannot take anything for granted. Temper your excitement with humility and gratitude.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Eek! I've been tagged! 8 Random Things About Me

So I guess I'm it. Or if this was a game of duck, duck, goose, I'd be the goose. EMAWKC totally just tagged me. I now have to tell y'all eight random things about me, which you should pretty much be used to right about now. Jenelle tells me that this blog is basically a list of the random crap running through my brain anyway...

So let's get to it:

  1. I once worked the door at a fashion show in Venice. California, not Italy. I was really bad at it because I had no idea who was "somebody" and who was "nobody." Except for one guy from General Hospital and another guy from Passions. They were somebody enough for me.
  2. I once at a spoonful of nasty things for five dollars on a school field trip.
  3. I own a gravy boat, which has never been used. I just like knowing that I have one should the occasion rise.
  4. I was sophomore class vice-president. Sort of by default. I ran unopposed. Which either means that I either intimidated the heck out of the competition or no one else wanted the crappy job.
  5. I can beat Super Mario Brothers on the first try.
  6. I like the smell of bleach.
  7. I came in second on a game show on the PAX network. Which I don't think even exists anymore.
  8. I did Jazzercise last night. How amazingly 80's is that? I only wished I'd been wearing a leotard and a sweat band.

So there you have it. And because I now get to be the tagger, Erin, The D, Rachael, Sizzle Pizzle and Heidi... you're it.

(Sidenote: for those of you that I owe interview questions, expect them in your respective inboxes this weekend)

Monday, June 25, 2007

Hula Lola

We're having a funniest pet contest at work. It's company-wide and our company is, like, ginormous. But I have a strong feeling that I may have taken the winning pic:

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Ode to Pleasanton

Craig Ferguson gives the world's biggest shout out to my hometown, Pleasanton, CA. All P-towners (and you know who you are, you "townies") must watch. It's amazing.


I really need to do the dishes:

And fold the laundry that seems to have found a permanent home on my guest bed:

Should You Care

My interview with Jenn is up and posted. You can check it out HERE.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Gratutitous Lola Pic

Death of the Diet

This is kind of how it went down:

Things I Should Have Done Today

  1. Cleaned my apartment
  2. Took the dog for a long walk
  3. Loaded the dishwasher
  4. Shredded old bills
  5. Folded laundry
  6. Worked out

Things I did instead:
  1. Got a manicure with Jenelle
  2. Had a long lunch at Chili's (totally off Adkins, btw... The Philly cheesesteaks did me in. Instead I'm trying that eat healthy and work out idea...)
  3. Perused the mall
  4. Watched The Closer and Entourage off my overflowing TiVo
  5. Took a long nap
  6. Went tanning


I just realized that one of my "labels" is "Midly drunk and blogging." It should be "MILDLY drunk and blogging." Which makes me think that maybe drinking and blogging do not go hand in hand as I had previously thought.

Um, Yeah. Let's Hang Out

Kansas City Blog Friends,

I am planning a trip to your fine city.

Anyone up for, like, an in-person meeting?

You all let me know what you think about that... Let it marinate a bit...

Your Blog Friend,


Thursday, June 21, 2007

ACGIK - The Interview (AKA The Longest Post Ever)

So not long ago, The D interviewed Brad after being interviewed himself on his blog. As part of the deal, the chain of blogger interviews had to continue and I volunteered to be the next interviewee. And now (drum roll please).... Brad's interview of ACGIK:

1) Most anyone who reads your blog knows why you moved to Kansas (for your boyfriend at the time). Since that relationship has since ended, what is keeping you in Kansas? It's obvious that you miss California so what's holding you back from returning there?

Oooh. That's a good one. Actually, it's good timing to ask that because I just got back to Wichita from a hectic week in the Northeast and anytime I visit a big city (such as Philly), I start to ponder why exactly I'm still in Kansas. Over the past two years and 9 months (eek!), there have been plenty of times where I've called my family in CA and said, "Get the U-Haul ready, I'm coming home." But every time, something has kept me here. And I've always believed, since the road trip I took to move here, that if it didn't work out with The Ex, I was coming to Wichita for a reason, even if I didn't realize what that reason was for quite some time. I'm still not sure I know. But when I decided to move, everything fell into place so seamlessly that I knew this was the right thing to do. At the moment, I have a really good job with a really good company and my future there looks really, really bright. I would be foolish to throw away that opportunity. I have made some really, really great friends here and I can't imagine leaving them right now. I've become involved with my sorority alumni group, which I never thought I would do, but am so glad I did. The Wichita Eagle has interviewed me on four different occasions, which is really cool. I find that in Wichita, it's really easy to be a big fish in a small pond and I kinda like that. Um, and can we talk about the cost of living for a moment? Yeah, my apartment now is like three or four of my LA apartments for significantly less money. And as long as I keep making a decent living so I can visit California when I want and as long as I keep traveling for work so I can enjoy big city life without actually having to deal with its hassles on a daily basis, it's kind of nice to come back home where the pace is a little slower, the air quality is good and there is no such thing as traffic. Wichita has somehow become my home and I never expected to like it the way I have. Of course, you've caught me at a bit of an optimistic moment... Oh my gosh, I need to maybe be more concise with my other answers or this is going to be the longest blog post ever.

2) You definitely aren't shy about writing sharing details about your love life on your blog. You've even stated before that even your friends joke around that no one should date you because it'll end up on the internet. Coming from someone who makes a point to not do so, why you do it? Has it ever been an issue in any of your previous relationships?

Why do I do it? Good question. Wow, Brad, way to go all Barbara Walters on me. I guess it's kind of "my thing." Some girls talk to their girlfriends about dating. I put it out there on the Internet for mass consumption. Is it the smartest thing to do? No. But I can't imagine NOT talking about it. I mean, single people have it rough. Dating is really hard after, like, eleventh grade. And I think that if someone reads what I have to say about guys or dating or my mistakes or my successes and relates to it, then it's worth putting it out there. We single people have to stick together. I also think that dating makes some of the funniest writing material ever. So maybe I'm cheapening my relationships by publishing them for their humor, but if you can't laugh about them in hindsight, why even bother dating? It has rather amazingly not been an issue in any of my relationships. When I first start to date someone, I am really upfront about it - "Look, I have this blog thing and I pretty much talk about everything on there..." But once I am serious about someone, I tend to keep it more private. Obviously, it's been awhile since I was serious about someone...

3) I can tell you are a pretty big reality television junkie. In fact, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you even have another website devoted primarily to gossip pertaining to the genre. I am someone who doesn't watch reality t.v. Assume the role of a salesperson and "sell" me on why it is so great to watch. Try to woo me.

I don't know that I would necessarily consider myself a big reality TV junkie. Ok, that's a lie. I definitely have my "guilty pleasure" reality shows - MTV shows like Laguna Beach, The Real World, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, The Hills (I totally interviewed Heidi & Spencer over at MTV Reality World) and shows on Bravo - Project Runway, Top Chef, The Real Housewives of Orange County... I still watch Survivor even. But you might be surprised to learn that my favorite shows are, in fact, serial dramas and "dramedys": Veronica Mars, Sex and the City, The Sopranos, Entourage, The Closer (back for the summer!), Rescue Me (also back for the summer and just fantastically well-written), Weeds, Grey's Anatomy, Lost and... Oh wow. I am just realizing how much TV I actually watch. Thank God for TiVo. So why should you watch reality TV? It's all about the drama. No reality show is worth watching if you can't watch real people, not characters (though they are cast and edited to become characters) duke it out on national TV, whether it's in a cooking competition or fighting with a roommate or kicking some "Bad Guy" ass on a RW/RR Challenge. It's trashy and deliciously so. Some of the shows are a bit more highbrow than, say, Being Bobby Brown. And this is where I would suggest you take your first reality show nibble. Try watching an episode of The Amazing Race. It's exciting and educational and dramatic and fun. If that doesn't get you hooked, you can just continue on, satisfied that you haven't wasted precious hours of your life like I apparently have.

4) Please list your likes/dislikes of both Midwestern living as well as life in California. I'm sure there are some obvious ones (i.e. the weather), but I'd be curious to know that your thoughts are of each place.

California Likes: My family. The Pacific. Mountains. Great shopping. Diversity. Culture. Real Mexican food. Sushi. SoCal weather. Tahoe. Malibu. PCH. South Beverly Drive. In N Out Burger. Midtown Sacramento. Trader Joe's. Whole Foods. Buying wine at the grocery store. Nordstrom. Nordstrom Rack. Driving down the 10 and seeing the Hollywood sign. Montana Ave. in Santa Monica. Santa Cruz, CA (everything about it, especially my dad). Frozen yogurt on a Friday night in Rocklin with my sisters. Safeway (I have an odd adoration for Safeway grocery stores). The Grove/Farmer's Market in LA. Miracle Mile apartments. Hancock Park homes. The drive from Sacramento to Santa Cruz. The Oakland A's. Napa. Crossing the Bay Bridge (my heart stops for a moment every time). Vacationing all over the state and feeling like you're in an entirely different place.

Kansas Likes: My friends. My job. Cost of living. Thunderstorms. BBQ. Bison burgers. NO TRAFFIC. Friendly people. Tiny airport (this is a like and a dislike). Cute, cornfed Midwestern boys. $3 Beers. $2 Beers. $1 Beers. Gas prices. Open fields. Super Target. Midwestern cities (KC, St. Louis, Chicago...). My apartment. The Crush. Delta Gamma Alumnae. The Northeast Side. Bella Luna Cafe. Old Town. Mort's. The Anchor. Dancing at Margaritas with all of the single over-40 crowd. Seeing the Keeper of the Plains at night. Brunch at the Wichita Art Museum. SNOW! College Hill. Warm summer nights. 15 minutes to anywhere in town. The Flint Hills. Feeling calm.

California Dislikes: Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Cost of living ($950 for 325 sq. feet in the Miracle Mile district of LA...). $10 shots of tequila (right Fred?). Smarmy LA guys. Hollywood in general. Congestion. No such thing as open spaces unless you're on I-5 and who wants to be on I-5 in the middle of nowhere anyway? The Valley (except for Ventura Boulevard). SMOG. Hot summers. Hot winters. The Plastic Lifestyle. Incessant competition. 16 year old kids with BMWs. Every agent who works at William Morris and walks down South Beverly during lunch. Expensive everything. Gas prices. The Inland Empire. LAX. The ten million people inside Trader Joe's at any given moment.

Kansas Dislikes: No family. No decent shoe stores in the greater Wichita area. No family. Significant lack of mountains and/or ocean. Expensive airfare. Humidity. General lack of culture or diversity. Sushi? Spangles commercials. Cheap beer means gross drunk guys (and girls) in Old Town. Lack of outdoor activity. No one walks anywhere. Giant parking lots and big box stores. Men wear overalls. Everyone wears those damn Crocs. No major sporting events in Wichita. The drive to Kansas City. 11,000 more single women than men in Wichita. The likelihood of running into an ex is significantly greater. Chicken fried everything.

5) If you could have dinner with one living celebrity of each sex who would it be and why? On the flip side, if you could punch one celebrity of each sex in the face who would it be and why?

I'd have dinner with Lisa Loeb because I adore her, her love of pink and Hello Kitty and her music. Also, I'd have dinner with Justin Timberlake because he's dreamy. Who would I punch? Britney Spears. Maybe it would knock some sense in her. And Tom Cruise, so I could distract him and give Katie Holmes the chance to run far, far away.

So there you have it. My interview and the longest post ever. Want to be the next interview victim? Send me an email -

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I totally ate carbs yesterday and today...

And I think I've eaten 8000 calories.

Uh, Philly cheesesteaks... Why didn't I try those sooner? Probably a good thing. But when in Rome...

And now my Philly cheesesteak is sitting like a giant greasy lump in my belly...

Off to Atlantic City!

Atlantic City

We're going to head for Atlantic City as soon as class is over. I seriously can't wait. I have an amazing assortment of photos waiting to be uploaded. You will love it.

I'm in a software training class. Part of the software package includes the ability to create blogs. So I am literally blogging while being "taught" how to blog. How's that for some irony? Um, I think I have it down already, but thanks.

Oooh. Ahhhh.

Kevin James (Doug on King of Queens and kind of a secret crush of mine) and his wife welcomed a baby girl on June 14.

What did they name her?

Shea Joelle.

I love it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Philly, Part 3

Things I love about hotels:
  1. Room service. That's totally a given.
  2. Mini condiments that come with room service.
  3. Free copies of USA Today which I faithfully read.
  4. Triangle points on the toilet paper.
  5. Turndown service.
  6. Down comforters and super soft beds.
  7. Unlimited A/C. I turn it down to, like, 65.
  8. Unlimited hot water. I take loooooong showers.
  9. Free HBO. Even though I pay for it at home.
  10. Free toiletries and shower caps. I have an odd shower cap addiction. I have like 20 at home and the collection continues to grow... I'm like the only person under the age of 60 who uses a shower cap. Well, except my mom. Who is totally under 60 and really hot too.
  11. Maid service.
  12. Ice buckets.
  13. Did I mention room service?

Philly, Part 2

I just ate my first Philly cheesesteak! Pics coming soon!

I'm so proud of me

I totally figured out how to use google talk on my blackberry AND I'm totally blogging from the blackberry right now.

I am officially the most connected person ever.

Monday, June 18, 2007

My hair

It's a sort of futile attempt at a pic, but you get the idea. Not bad for a crazy, kitchen-scissors-wielding novice.

Philly, Part One

Here's how I spent my evening:

More to come on the art of breastfeeding (this was all new to me), Clinique Bonus Time, Sephora, a handful of carbs and my training course.

Kerry, you are the dearest friend. And Isabel is amazing. I had soooo much fun with you this evening! I wish we'd had more time! We've come a long way since The Great Peep Prank of 1999 (which we totally would have gotten away with if it wasn't for your blasted younger brother)...

Sorry for the grainy pic, but the Blackberry Pearl was all that was handy.

Linda B. took a few with her camera that I'll load later.

For now, my super comfortable bed is calling my name. Well, the bed that lil' Isabel did not spit up or crap upon.


  1. I'm in King of Prussia. The most amazing mall ever is right across the street from my hotel. In fact, I'm looking at Neiman Marcus as I type. Nordstrom Rack is down the street. Yes, Nordstrom Rack. Mama's gonna buy some new shoes.
  2. Crush status: fantastic. We've communicated our expectations and while I'm not giving details so not to jinx anything, just know that things are good and I am really happy.
  3. The Crush and I went to dinner this weekend at Bonefish Grill. As we were leaving, I slipped and bit it right in front of the hostess desk. Hard. I looked up at everyone and sort of blurted out, "Time to leave!" I then stood up and bolted for the door. I laughed about this for the next three hours. In fact, I'm laughing right now.
  4. Kerry is driving from Jersey to have dinner with me tonight. Woot! She's bringing her adorable baby, Isabel. I fully intent to hold her for the entire evening.
  5. My haircut looks good. It's confirmed. And yes, I'll post a pic.
  6. My hotel bed is the most comfortable hotel bed ever. I slept like a baby.
  7. I've now lost 8 pounds. Though I did cheat and have a mojito last night. Ok, three.
  8. It's Clinique Bonus Time at Lord & Taylor. I've never been to a Lord & Taylor, but guess what? Yup, there's one across the street. Hello there Moisture Surge moisturizer. You're coming home with me. And the free treasures that your purchase will bring.
  9. Jill and I totally rocked an estate sale this weekend. Jill made out like a bandit. I made out with three candlesticks that apparently can't hold candle's because they're a fire hazard. Yeah. How does that work?

Ok. Must go now. More later.

Friday, June 15, 2007

The Next Diane Sawyer

So... I just finished my interview with Jenn. She was the perfect interviewee, full of good tidbits, talkative, fun, and really professional (which I appreciate since a bunch of MTV kids have blown me off when we've had interviews scheduled). One in particular has a full voice mail box and only responds to text messages. Yeah. That was cool.

So... yeah. It was good. Always nice to spend some time chatting to another Bay Area girl who happens to live a far more interesting life than me.

Ahh... Memory Lane

Since we recently discussed New Kids on the Block, the greatest boy band ever, I thought I'd remind you just how totally awesome they were, even when animated.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Holy Atkins

I can't believe it, but in just four measly days eating low-carb and watching myself very carefully, plus working out every day, I've lost five pounds.

Yes, five pounds.

I now have the motivation to make it through an entire week of traveling (seriously - do you know how hard this will be?) without cheating.

I even went out for Mexican food tonight and didn't eat a chip. Not one. And I had a salad. I love Mexican food. I love rice and beans and cheesy enchiladas and chips and salsa and instead I had a salad.

I'm going to go eat a celebratory 15 calorie, sugar free popsicle. Woot!


I'm heading to Philadelphia on Sunday and I am psyched. Luckily, my job has taken me to quite a few big cities (and quite a few little cities) in the past year. I need that city time. I need to remember what a REAL urban area is like. I need to walk city streets and smell the city smell and be around city people and eat at innovative restaurants and drink a $12 cocktail and shop at the stores I so desperately miss and... I just can't wait.

I especially can't wait to do this:

Yeah, I'm gonna get my Rocky on.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'm Dumb

So for all of my technologically-savvy, gadget-loving, hidden nerdiness, I have absolutely no idea how to make this page less.... Blogger-template-y. How do y'all customize this stuff? I'm a former TypePad girl. It was easier there.

But this shiz is free which is kind of like it's on a super clearance and y'all know I can't pass that up.

Guess What?

So... Yeah. Guess what?

White wine has 0.6 net carbs according to my Atkins diet handbook. So yeah, back to the plan of trying every Sauvignon Blanc at the liquor store.


Help, please

Hey y'all...

So, I'm interviewing Jenn from The Real World - Denver on Friday. It's part of a series of Real World interviews that I'll be doing over at MTV Reality World.

So if you happen to watch the show or caught her on The Inferno, I'm opening up the floor. Is there anything that you would ask her if you had the chance?

I'll ask just about anything as long as I can blame it on "a fan."


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Uh Oh.

I got my hair done tonight and it looked really cute, I swear. But just now, as I was about to get in the shower (OMG - it's almost midnight?), I decided that it wasn't short enough. And I did the unthinkable.

I got out my kitchen shears and began whacking away like I had an idea of what I was doing.


I was like an out of control child who steals the scissors and begins whacking off chunks.

Here's the thing. Cutting hair is a lot more difficult than you might think. I think I've actually made it look ok. In fact, it kind of looks like what I wanted all along. I think. I hope it resembles a cute, shaggy bob. I keep changing my mind every time I look in the mirror. I'm having a bit of a panic attack. Why on earth did I just pay $120 for a haircut (and color - don't panic!) if I couldn't even speak up to say that it wasn't as short as I wanted it? Why did I feel like that might hurt my stylist's feelings? She's fantastic and she probably could have taken it.

I can't believe I've done this.

I suck.

Gag Reflex

Disclaimer: This is a totally disgusting post. You've been forewarned.

Something is wrong with my tonsils. More specifically, there are these giant cavity things in them that occasionally collect junk. I can't talk about it too much because it makes me kind of sick to just think about. And I have, like, the world's strongest gag reflex. Just talking about things like loogies (ohhhhhh yuck) or phlegm.... Well, then there's the gagging and sometimes, just upon discussing something, I've thrown up a little.

Back to the holes in my tonsils. Usually, I have to clean out this odd little batch of stuff that's gathered in there. This makes me gag and then barf every time. Never fails. Usually this is because I have to stick something in the back of my throat to accomplish the task. Sometimes it's just because I find this whole ordeal thoroughly disgusting.

So right now I can feel that something is lodged in a tonsil, only I can't see it when I look in the mirror. But I can feel it. And sometimes there's this distinctive taste in my mouth that makes me thing, yup, it's that time.

Ok, I can't blog about it anymore. If you haven't barfed already, I think I might make it up for you right now....

Ugggggh. Please make it stop!!!!!

(For the record, this has been looked at by a doctor who claimed that this isn't uncommon at all.)

Attack of the Killer Moth

So I seriously just read emawkc's comment on my previous post about the moth in the shower and felt like I was going to barf. And then I went into the women's restroom and did my business, washed my hands and saw the world's most giant moth flying near my head. There was screaming and ducking and hand waving and shrieking and a paper towel flying across the room. And I managed to escape. My heart is still racing.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Hot as Balls

It's hot here. Miserably hot and humid. But if I wanted to glamorize it, I might say that tonight is a sultry, steamy June evening.

But it's not glamorous to walk outside and instantly perspire. Nope, nothing glamorous about that at all.

Not only is it just sticky and awful, but the bugs are out in full force. This is not good because I hate bugs and I have to take The Pug out for a pee break every 5 hours or so. When I took her out for her morning tinkle and doodie, I had five mosquito bites within literally two minutes. And there are moths everywhere. And y'all know that I have a horrible fear of moths. So now I'm spraying myself with insect repellant just to go outside for, like, a minute. I stink. And not just because I got all Tony Little on yo ass and rocked the Gazelle for thirty minutes...


Dermot Mulroney has filed for divorce from Catherine Keener. I could be thinking crazy person thoughts like "Now, he's mine!" Only I'm not a crazy person and I quite like Catherine Keener (the charmingly quirky star of some of my favorite movies - Friends with Money, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Full Frontal...).

Nonetheless, Dermot still makes me swoon in My Best Friends Wedding when he sings The Way You Look Tonight to Julia Roberts. Amazing. Such a hot piece of man.

Low Carb

I'm going low carb again. I'm quite motivated to do it right because I seriously need to lose my Kansas weight. It's like baby weight, but put on thanks to an entire state of people who eat fried food and a ton of BBQ. It's a bad influence. I come from the land of the avacado, cucumber and alfalfa sprout sandwich and I am living in the land of chicken fried steak and fried okra (still have no idea what that's about. And I take issue with "chicken fried steak." Shouldn't it just be "fried steak"?). People eat things like fried livers and gizzards. I'm aiming for ahi tuna with cucumber salad.

So yeah, I'm all about the low carb right now. And the Gazelle - thank you, Tony Little. And Windsor Pilates, thank you, Daisy Fuentes. And I'm giving up booze for awhile... because that has so many carbs and calories and it makes me dance on tables. Just kidding, mom.

When I've reached my goal of fitting in my skinny jeans again, I'll take a picture and post it. How's that for accountability? It's kinda like Kirstie Alley wearing a bikini on Oprah... Only not.

Linens 'n Things

Why is it that putting a duvet cover on a down comforter is one of the most impossible tasks ever?

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Like Anyone Isn't Talking About Paris

Because I'm obviously a cold, evil B, I found this to be ridiculously funny.

A Problem

In LA, I was all about Sephora and Kiehl's and the make-up counter at Nordstrom.

In Wichita, my options are limited and I've found that I frequent Bath & Body Works more now than when I was 13.

It's become a problem:

It's a blurry pic, but I think you get the idea. And this isn't even including the three lotions sitting on my desk at work.

But I do like that I've arranged them all like beauty pageant contestants.

Heads Carolina, Tails California

The most amazing thing has happened.

Delta is now offering nonstop flights from Wichita to LAX.

I checked ticket prices and they are in the low $300s.

Southern California friends, get your guest rooms ready...

Friday, June 8, 2007


I forgot that I had been invited to another NYC party this weekend. I just now checked my email again to see what it was about and nearly peed my pants laughing.

Do you remember this Jeremy Jackson kid? Let me refresh your memory:

Why hello there, HOBIE FROM BAYWATCH.

Oh how I wish I could hop on a plane to New York and spend the weekend at all of these ridiculous events. These can't remain untouched by ACGIK. It's just not right...

Friday Edition: Random Things in my Cubicle

This, friends, is a copy of the March cover of Fast Company magazine. And that is the top half of Arnold Schwarzenegger's head. I worked on his campaign during the fall right before I moved to LA many moons ago. I was invited to hear him speak several times AND to the innaguration. Unfortunately, I was busy managing an office in the 90212 and couldn't make it. Nonetheless, I have this posted in my cube because of the following quote:

"Come on. We're from California. We've always been number one. Let's show the rest of the world that we can come up with the best ideas. Let's kick some butt here."

I love it. Of course, I think he was talking about California's efforts toward reducing greenhouse gasses and whatnot, but I kinda just like to repeat it to myself when I'm in a funk.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Being Single Really Can Be Fabulous

Well, since it looks like I'm going to remain a party of one, I thought I'd make a list of fun things I could do with all of this free, blissful, single time.

So here we go...
  1. Make a quiche. I have no idea how, but surely Ina could teach me.
  2. Read saucy chick lit by the pool.
  3. Travel. And by travel, I mean vacation. The Non Crush believed that real travelers were people who, like, stayed in hostels and slummed it for a few weeks like the locals. It's a good thing this didn't work out because he obviously didn't get that I need at LEAST three star accommodations. Under no circumstances will I share a bathroom. Random hairs make me nauseous. Anyway, I am thinking of checking out Chicago or meeting my mom in NYC for another shopping extravaganza. Maybe I could rent a convertible and take a road trip through New England. With a scarf in my hair. And go to clam bakes. Geez, number three is a doozie.
  4. Watch quaint independent films that no one else likes but me.
  5. Plant some flowers and (hopefully) remember to water them.
  6. Write my book.
  7. Take tennis lessons.
  8. Be a superstar at work. Less distractions without a crush to invade one's thoughts.
  9. Try every Sauvignon Blanc at the liquor store.
  10. Audition for community theater.
  11. Sit in my underwear in my air conditioned apartment and give myself a pedicure.
  12. Go to a movie. Alone. I've always wanted to have the courage to do that.
  13. Go on some dates with men who aren't lacking respect or consideration. And are maybe even really hot.
  14. Do the eight Windsor Pilates DVDs that I bought off TV. Thanks Daisy Fuentes.
  15. Brush up on my Spanish. Save my pennies for a trip to Barcelona.
  16. Watch all three Godfather movies in a row.
  17. Walk the Pug.

iPods ROCK

Currently listening to: Africa - Toto
Up next: Cruising Together - Smokey Robinson
And after that: Now and Forever - Richard Marx

OMG - I listen to some random ass music.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The Guylossary

In an effort to catch you up to speed on my current and former relationships, I've created a glossary of sorts. A guylossary to be more specific.

Here we go:

The Crush (or The Non-Crush, once referred to as The More Than Just a Crush): We've been on some dates, we've gone out for some drinks, we rented one foreign film. We've hit a bit of a speed bump and I'm really not sure what is going on at all. Current status: Unknown

The Ex With The Crazy Ex: Last serious relationship, circa last summer though the fall. Lots of sizzle then lots of fizzle. Had a crazy ex who called me once and I was frightened after that. Was kind of crazy himself. Current status: Still Crazy

The Thug: A brief summer fling right before TEWTCE who was younger and kind of a disaster. Was a gangsta in a former life. Had more drama than a Friday episode of General Hospital. Current status: Drunk Dialer

The Ex: Yes, just The Ex. The one I moved to Kansas for. Is a country boy. I clearly am not a country girl. Has some anger management issues. Wears tapered leg jeans. Do note that the previous two observations didn't occur until AFTER move to Kansas. Also regularly referred to as The Crier. Current status: Manged to Marry a Doctor (OMG - can you imagine the sobbing at that wedding?)

The Hollywood Producer: All was fine and dandy until he hired a stylist, acquired more hair products than me, and hit on an undercover narcotics officer at Coachella and disappeared for a bit because he was in the slammer. Current status: Probably Smoking a Doobie Somewhere

The Older Man: Possibly the biggest dating mistake ever. Was ten years older and acted ten years younger. Lied. A lot. Highly unreliable. Fake cried once or twice in a feeble attempt to gain sympathy. Should have taken lessons from The Crier. Current status: Likely Off Fathering Illegitimate Children

The Best Ex Ever/The Mun: Probably first real love. Best friend. Most awesome guy I know. We started as friends and remain friends. I wouldn't have it any other way. I laughed more with him than with anyone else - even doing lame stuff like examining our toes or playing car games to amuse ourselves. The guy who has set the bar high for all others. Current status: Happily Engaged (and I'm ecstatic for him)

...More guys to come and more gaps to fill in in the next edition of The Guylossary.

Old Friends! Woot!

I am so happy because Sizzy Siz (aka Sizzle Pizzle, fabulous author of The Bulky Girl) has joined us!! I love it!


Somehow, because of my other job, I get invited to random LA and NYC parties. Of course, this might have come in handy were I still living on the corner of San Vicente and Fairfax, but it's a bit of a drive at this point.

So, sadly, I'll have to miss the Athletes, Models and Bottles extravaganza.


The power went off at work today. The emergency generator kicked on and then - poof - everything went black.

My laptop was working thanks to the battery, but anyone without a laptop was pretty much screwed. of course, having your laptop work when everything around you is almost pitch black doesn't really do much good.

After a field trip through the complex to another building (that had power), a ride on an elevator (where Linda B. and I prayed we would get stuck because we thought it might be funny and adventurous), and a long walk back (with fingers crossed that the power was still off), my cool boss said I could take off and work from home since it was pretty much useless to stay.

It's insanely windy today. Like 50 MPH winds. I tried rather foolishly to take a picture, but of course, you can't SEE wind. So instead I took a picture of Lola looking outside at the wind.

Ok, now time to WORK.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Best. CD. Ever.

I am totally in love with Dashboard Confessional's "Dusk and Summer" at the moment.

Love, love, love it.

Optimism at its Best

My horoscope today (I'm an Aries):

If something has been in your way, today another layer of resistance drops away. You are gold medal material. You are the illuminated magic of stars and nothing can get in your way. Nothing, that is, except your sense of overinflated self-importance. As good as you may feel, remember not to burn all your fuel today or you won't have enough energy left for tomorrow.

I am gold medal material? I am the illuminated magic of stars?

It's encouraging and all, but I don't see any layers of resistance dropping anywhere. What a crock...

Monday, June 4, 2007

See This Movie

The Waitress is utterly adorable, funny, sweet and sad... all at once. Go see it. It's not just a chick flick, I swear.

Monday Edition: Random Things in my Cubicle

Hey look! It's a set of Eric Chavez nesting dolls (note the gold glove)! There's Big Chavvy, Little Chavvy and Mini Chavvy. These remind me of an amazing summer where I went to like 22 A's games. Also known as the summer when I talked to Barry Zito on the phone. And he talked about me on the radio. Amazing stories for another post. It was the Best. Summer. Ever.

Baseball players are hot. Not quite as hot when they are little Weeble-like dolls. But totally hot nonetheless.

Bye Bye Bobby

How completely amazing was The Sopranos last night?

Sunday, June 3, 2007

ACGIK Mixed Tape

Hey look! Another new ACGIK feature! I'll be creating a monthly "mixed tape" (ok, so it's really more like a mixed CD or playlist on my iPod) and telling you what songs are on it. I know- this is some fascinating stuff.

So here we go with June's mixed tape
  1. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
  2. Melissa - The Allman Brothers Band
  3. Follow Through - Gavin Degraw
  4. Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
  5. Easy Silence - Dixie Chicks
  6. Tiny Dancer - Elton John
  7. Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) - Fergie
  8. Wild Horses - The Sundays
  9. The Remedy (acoustic) - Jason Mraz
  10. What Goes Around... Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
  11. This Year's Love - David Gray
  12. Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
  13. Lover Lay Down - Dave Matthews Band
  14. I'll Stand by You - The Pretenders
  15. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
  16. Face Down (acoustic) - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
  17. Sitting on the Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding
  18. Fools Like Me - Lisa Loeb
  19. Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knight & The Pips
  20. Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls
So there you have it. The first ACGIK mixed tape.

Overanalyzers Anonymous

Hi. My name is Shea and I am an overanalyzer. A serious, serious overanalyzer.

Um, do I get a sponsor for this?

Friday, June 1, 2007

Here Comes Lil' Joey Joe Down the Street!!

Confession: I love New Kids on the Block. Still. My love has never wavered. I still have my NKOTB t-shirt, every tape and CD. And the videos. And a tape of the cartoon. Yes, I own a copy of the CARTOON.
I love them. Shamelessly and unconditionally. Truly, madly, deeply.
All right, you get the idea.

My favorite New Kid of all time - little Joey Joe McIntyre. I used to kiss my poster of him every night before bed. He was sooooooo dreeeeaaaamy. Being nine was awesome. I was in love with a New Kid.

Then Joey had a "comeback" of sorts, circa Fall of 1999. I was all over that sh*t, let me tell you. As a member of the FAN CLUB, I bought my concert ticket for his comeback tour before anyone else could. And then, at Grad Night (I graduated from HS that year), I bought two more tickets off some poor kid named Bryce who wasn't setting foot at a Joey McIntyre concert. I think I paid him $20. Fair trade, I thought.
Anyway, the love of my life, little Joey Joe, is expecting a child with his (lovely, I'm sure) wife. I guess I can put that dream aside now. I will clearly NOT be carrying the love child of Joey McIntyre.



“There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.” – Richard Rybolt