Maybe it's the wind or the humidity or the thunderstorms, but I think I might have lost my mind.
I turned down the opportunity to pursue a job in the Bay Area yesterday.
In January, I was up for a job in Dallas with my company. I didn't get it, but applied shortly after for a job in the Bay Area for a similar, but more senior role.
And I got the call... yesterday. And my stomach immediately felt like it fell to the floor. Had this call come a few months earlier, I would have been ecstatic. I would have driven off into the sunset without ever looking back.
But now... Well, things are GOOD. My job is good. Well, ok, but always getting better. I can't believe how much I've learned about chemistry and safety and all kinds of other things that I would never in a million years have purposely studied... and I kinda like it. Of course, not as much as I would love blogging full time or running my own PR shop, but there's plenty of time for all of that to work out too...
I've made so many new friends in the past few months and have even (gasp!) become involved with the local alumnae chapter of my sorority. My existing friendships keep blooming and I can't really imagine saying goodbye right now.
My new apartment is amazing and I kinda even feel like a grown up in it. I mean, I own appliances. I recently bought a queen sized bed. I'm kinda over the massive quantities of pink decor (except for the kitchen, which is more like... accessorized with pink). I have a guest bedroom/office. If that's not grown up, I don't know what is... I mean, I have room for guests. And they could do their laundry!
And I have Lola the Pug. This job wouldn't really allow me to keep her because of a pretty heavy travel schedule. I can't imagine waking up without her cute little face burrowed in my side. We spoon. It's not right, I know. And aside from the occasional peeing on the guest bed thing, she really is the greatest dog ever.
I even have a crush. A crush that I have so much fun with- it's ridiculous. I really want to hang out with him more and see where it goes...
So yeah, this is really BAD timing. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I really believe that Kansas holds a lot more for me to experience right now. I'm not ready to jump ship. Not yet.
So after a consultation with Fran (my mom who's real name is Denise), she actually encouraged me to stay in Kansas - something that stunned us both. Of course, my mom was more focused on me finishing up that pesky little degree (I participated in the graduation ceremony a year ago and I'm still not done...) and the fact that I would despise tackling Bay Area traffic every day all day (I would be out making sales calls, essentially). She's right on both counts...
So I called the district manager right back and told him that while I was really grateful for the opportunity, I was going to stay where I was.
Ya know what they say - grow where you're planted. I like to think I'm growing quite fabulously, thankyouverymuch.